yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
