my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just found puke in my bra..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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