Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
