? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize