ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
