what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
