I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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