I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
