why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize