? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
