Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
