we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
