You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
