Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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