At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
