he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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