i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
