Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
