We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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