did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
