They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You're earring is so big in my mouth
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize