How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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