yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
