When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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