well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
