woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
