We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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