I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
