Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize