What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I want a musical about memes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
