Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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