I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize