they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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