I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
