So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
