i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize