I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
