She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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