I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
