spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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