He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
