We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize