I wish my penis had an off switch
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
