shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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