I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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