He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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