Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
