Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
