I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
