I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
