Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
