why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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