I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
