I'm eating all of the evidence.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
