whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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