what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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