We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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