Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
