Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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