is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize